


Always in my heart

by Hiding_Larry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drunk Dialing, Drunk Harry, Fluff and Angst, I Blame Tumblr, I tried at least, Just read, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, always in my heart yours sincerely louis, and a random dude in the bar, and the bartender to, can't believe I almost forgot the bartender, eleanor is there to, idk anymore, it's only Harry and louis, just mentioned tho, louis is a bit of an asshole in the beginning, she isn't actually in it, the always in my heart tweet makes appearences, the second most retweeted tweet in history, they broke up to, they talk about feelings, tumblr makes appearences to
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 11:16:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3172396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiding_Larry/pseuds/Hiding_Larry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s a Monday when it happens. He is scrolling through Tumblr when he sees it. The message that brings back all the pain that was inflicted on him many months ago. The message that the always in my heart tweet is now the second most retweeted tweet in the history of twitter. </p>
<p>or</p>
<p>The always in my heart tweet from Louis hits the status of being the second most retweeted tweet in history. But, he and Harry are not together anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Always in my heart

**Author's Note:**

> I got this from an open prompt on tumblr. It was about the always in my heart tweet and she asked for a angsty fic where Louis and Harry aren't together anymore and the tweet hits his current status. Harry gets drunk, dials Louis and then they talk about feelings. Not as much as I made them do tho. I got a bit caried away.
> 
> I can't believe the tweet is the second most retweeted tweet in the history of twitter tho! Larry is stronger than Obama. Oops. Hi.
> 
> Anyways, this isn't beta'ed yet because I still haven't found a beta yet *laughs*  
> The tumblr names are completly made up, sorry if I accidentely used yours.   
> So, just enjoy this little work I wrote in like three hours.

The sun is just beginning to rise, but Harry is already on his feet. The cool air chills him to the bones, but he keeps on running. The music blares in his ears, hides the noise of his feet slapping on the pavement. It’s quiet, only a few people are out and about. Not that strange, it’s only 6.15 am. Harry doesn’t mind though. He likes the calm streets. He likes the fact he can just run in silence, without getting mobbed. He likes the quietness, but he wishes he could share it with _him._

It’s an hour later he comes home. He reeks of sweat and dirt, caused by the fact he tripped over his own feet. It’s not the first time it happened, so he doesn’t mind. He sheds his clothes one by one, silently, although it’s not needed anymore. There isn’t a body occupying his bed or raiding his cabinets. It’s just him. Harry just wishes there was. He sighs and sheds his last article of clothing. The bathroom is already steaming up and the sound of water echoes in the tiled room. The boy ruffles his growing curls, causing them to tickle his shoulders and neck. He wishes they were the fingers of a certain boy.

**XXX**

_‘No!’ the boy screams. A laugh bubbles out of his mouth and Harry laughs to. He picks up speed and the boy underneath him starts to laugh harder. He starts to gasp and his defence attacks starts to weaken in strength._  
‘H-ha-Harry!’ he laughs. He gasps for breath again and Harry smirks.  
‘You know what to say to make me stop.’ Louis shakes his head.  
‘Ne-never!’ Harry shrugs and keeps on attacking him. 

_Eventually Louis is out of breath.  
‘O-o-okay! Okay! I’ll say it.’ Harry stops immediately and smirks again.  
‘Go on.’ He expectantly looks down to the blue eyed boy underneath him. Louis takes a deep breath and opens his mouth.  
‘Harry is the best boyfriend in the whole world and I love him forever and ever and ever.’ Harry smiles widely and ducks down to kiss Louis. That night the tweet _ Always in my heart @Harry_Styles Yours Sincerely, Louis _gets send out into the world._

The memory comes easily. He played it over and over and over, to try and keep the happiness within his heart. Harry doesn’t realise he’s crying, until he licks his lips. The saltiness comes as a shock to him and he starts to cry more. His breathing gets irregular and he sinks down to the floor. The boy wraps his arms around his knees, buries his head between them. The warm water keeps falling, steams up the room more and more and tickles his feet. His soft cries bounce of the walls, fill the room just like the steam.  
‘I miss him,’ he cries, ‘so much.’

**XXX**

Their relationship came easily and even the fans knew something was up. Therefor they were forced to cover it up by Modest! Because two gay members in a popular boyband, that was unacceptable. Louis was the one forced into a relationship, while management gave Harry the status of ‘’Womanizer’’. The girls he got linked to became good friends of his, but never more. The fans kept on believing though and Harry and Louis kept their relationship.

Because Harry and Louis were forced to keep their relationship hidden, their breakup needed to be kept hidden to. It was tough. They needed to behave like they were happy, like they were still friends. Harry had it tougher than Louis, because he was the one dumped. He knew that the fans knew something was up, but he never went on investigation. He didn’t want to see what they had to see, he didn’t want to see pictures of his and Louis’ happy times. He just wanted to be alone.

Being alone is not easy when you’re a celebrity of his level. He went to LA, hid himself in his house. It worked for two weeks. Then he went and visited Ed on his tour. It worked for a week. Then he went to his mom. It worked for three weeks. Harry then decided it was time to get over it, got himself back in the spotlights. The ache stayed, just like the memory of their break-up stayed.

**XXX**

_‘Lou. I can’t do this anymore.’ Soft breaths leave the younger boys mouth and Louis looks up from his book._  
‘Can’t do what?’ Harry makes a weird movement in the general direction of the TV, which is playing the E!news. Louis furrows his eyebrows, focus his gaze on the screen.   
‘I don’t understand?’   
‘YOU AND ELEANOR, OKAY?! I can’t handle being a secret anymore.’ The last part is whispered and Louis opens his mouth in shock.   
‘Baby, you know it’s not my choice…’ Harry shakes his head.  
‘It was. We had the chance to go against them. They gave us that chance, but you refused.’ Louis closes his book.   
‘Harry, you know how I felt about my sexuality back then…’ Harry nods, then shrugs.  
‘But now? Now you’re completely confident and I don’t understand why you still continue this scam.’ Louis starts to get angry, Harry can sense it in the air. He knows he’s being whiney, but he needs to get it of his chest.  
‘Yeh? Well, if you feel this way, why don’t you just go?! We had this argument to many times, you know my stand. ’ His tone is icy and Harry’s breathing stutters.  
‘W-what?’ His boy walks closer and looks up to his green eyes. Louis’ blue eyes look stormy, but there are no tears, no lies.  
‘If you feel like such a secret, why don’t you just go?! You know you don’t have to stay.’  
‘B-but I love you.’ Louis rolls his eyes.  
‘Just go.’ Harry widens his eyes.  
‘What do you mean?’  Louis looks him straight in the eyes.  
‘If you feel like such a burden. Don’t. Cause you’re not my boyfriend anymore.’ 

**XXX**

It’s a Monday when it happens. Five months after he and Louis broke up. Harry is scrolling through Tumblr when he sees the first message.

**@louisloveshairystyles  
** _The always in my heart tweet passed Obama’s election tweet what the hell :O_

His heart skips a beat, clenches together painfully after.  Could it be true? Harry shakes his head.  
‘No. No, it can’t be,’ he whispers softly. He scrolls further down his dash

**@bananalovessoccer  
** _GUYS GUYS GUYS WE DID IT! The always in my heart tweet passed Obama as the second most retweeted tweet!_

Harry feels trapped. His heart feels like it gets stepped on, like it shatters once again. Automatically he scrolls down further and the tweet pops up on his dash. The phone slips out of his fingers, like it burned him. He staggers back, hits the wall behind him. The screen is still bright, the words even brighter. Slowly he slides down the wall, puts his head in his hands. The words fly through his head.  
 _Always in my heart_ He lets out a soft cry. _Yours sincerely, Louis._ He feels the tears that start to gather in his eyes and abruptly gets to his feet. He picks up his phone, looks at the blackened screen. He knows the words that lie beneath. Knows them by heart. Harry wants to forget them and he makes the decision to do just so.

**XXX**

The bar is loud. The music pumps, makes his blood drum in his veins and the chatter from the people just barely reach his ears. His sixth drink stands in front of him. His long fingers are wrapped around the delicate glass and he sloshes the liquid inside.   
‘He’sso lovelyya know.’ His words are slurred and the boy next to him nods. The boy looks at Harry in awe and somewhere in the back of Harry’s mind he knows this will end up online. He doesn’t mind, is too drunk to mind.    
‘He has thisamazing eyelashes. They reach his cheekbones whenhe closes his eyes.’ He takes a sip of the liquid and it burns down his throat. The boy next to him nods again and his blonde bangs shake slightly.  
‘I love him so much, but he just dumped me.’ Harry frowns, takes another sip and feels a tear roll down his face.   
‘He wrote songs for me, so much songs.’ He orders another drink, but the bartender shakes his head. Harry frowns and stumbles to his feet.  
‘I’m gonna go. Need some more alco-hoal- alcohol.’ He makes his way to the door, stumbles a few times and sways lightly, but manages to behold his footing.

When he’s outside, he pushes his hands into his pockets. His fingers brush his phone and he takes the device out of his pocket. Without thinking about it, he unlocks the IPhone and scrolls through his contacts. The letters blur together for a bit, but his sight is very clear when he spots the name **Boo <3** He hasn’t had the heart yet to change it, although it’s been five months already. Doubting it for only a second, he pushes call.

**XXX**

‘Hello?’ The words are laced with sleep.  
‘Louolou.’ The words are laced with alcohol. It’s silent for a few moments.  
‘Harry?’ His name rolling of Louis’ tongue causes him to start crying.  
‘Lou,’  he sobs, ‘lou, why did you do it?’ It’s silent and he can hear Louis’ breathing.  
‘Did you mean it?’ Harry asks then.   
‘Mean what?’ Louis sounds confused.  
‘Mean what, Harry?’ he repeats. Harry lets out a cry again.   
‘Did you really mean I’m always in your heart?’ It’s silent again and Harry tries to control his breathing. The silence drags on and it feels like hours have passed.  
‘Of course I did, Haz,’ he whispers eventually. Harry sighs.  
‘Then why did you do it?’ He asks. He started crying again, can hear Louis crying to.  
‘I’m sorry,’ Louis says softly, ‘I really am, Haz.’ Then the line goes dead.

Harry enters his house with dried tear tracks on his cheeks and dried blood on his hands. He stumbles through the familiar rooms, crashes on his bed and closes his eyes briefly.   
‘I miss you,’ he whispers into the empty room. He stares into the darkness, lets it envelop him by closing his eyes again. The dark didn’t answer his whispering.

**XXX**

He wakes the next morning with a heavy pounding in his head. He groans, turns to his back and groans again. The curtains are drawn shut, but he doesn’t remember the silky fabric sliding through his hands. Harry slowly sits up, sniffs and smells bacon in the air. He’s confused and opens his eyes again. The light is filtered, makes the room glow in the soft sunshine. His mouth tastes like something died in it. He moves his legs over the edge of his bed, slowly, but he moves them none the less. On his bedside table stands a glass of water, accompanied by two pills. Painkillers, he assumes, but he doesn’t remember placing them there. Then the door opens slightly and all too familiar eyes peak inside. Harry’s eyes widen and he spills a bit of water.  
‘Lou?’ The boy steps inside fully and closes the door behind him.  
‘Haz,’ he whispers. Harry can feel the tears gather again, can see the tears in Louis’ eyes to.  
‘I’m so sorry, Haz.’ He takes a seat on the edge of the bed and Harry looks at him. It’s silent between them, until a sob escapes Harry’s lips. The spaces between them immediately fade and Louis crawls into Harry’s arms.  
‘I’m so sorry, Haz,’ he says over and over. The younger boy buries his head into the soft, feathery hair of his older friend.   
‘I hurt you and I’m so sorry.’ Harry’s not the only one crying anymore.

After they both calmed down, Harry is the first one to speak  
‘Why did you do it?’ Louis allows Harry to wipe his eyes with his shirtsleeves and shrugs.  
‘I don’t know. I was tired of the argument that we kept on having.’ He is silent for a heartbeat.  
‘I just didn’t want to hurt you anymore by saying the same thing over and over and over. You deserved better. Deserve better.’ Harry shakes his head.   
‘I only want you, I don’t want to deserve anything else.’ Louis looks at him and closes his eyes.  
‘I still love you,’ he whispers, ‘ god I still love you so much. My heart still aches and my bed still feels lonely and strange, because it not your bed and you’re not in it. My hands still feel strange, because you don’t stroke them anymore, your giant hands don’t engulf mine anymore and I miss it. I miss the way you would wash my hair and kiss my shoulders. I miss the way you would make me breakfast and lunch and dinner. I miss the way you would look at me when we had sex. God, I miss you. I miss you so much, Haz.’ It’s silent and Louis closes his eyes.  
‘I miss you to.’ Louis opens his eyes and looks at Harry in wonder.  
‘You do?’ Harry nods.  
‘I still love you. I tried hating you, but I can’t. I love you too much.’   
‘I love you to,’ Louis whispers in answer. Harry looks at him and raises his hands. He grabs Louis head between his hands and slowly leans in. Louis sighs and leans forward to and then their lips touch. It’s a soft, sweet kiss and after a few seconds Harry pulls back again.  
‘I’m sorry,’ Louis whispers again, ‘sorry for hurting you.’ Harry shakes his head.  
‘It doesn’t matter anymore. Just promise you won’t do it again.’ Louis smiles and his eyes crinkle.   
‘I promise.’


End file.
